Ready To Pick My Jaw

The cold makes everyone to cover up well, but in few weeks time, summer would be here and whoosh! The clothes would begin to disappear and whola! Naked bodies of different shapes would begin to emerge!
My cyber-friends! My first summer here, left my jaw on the floor several times, that I have to continue picking it from the ground! Kai! wetin my eyes no see?! I was taught there are 3 different shapes women have: Pear, figure 8 and angular! But my pipo! I see orishirishi type of shape that I could not find any name in google to describe it! The worst is the orhobo types like me o! I was taught to dress according to your body type and enhance your best features by avoiding certain cuts, designs, accessories and colours. But dem no gree hear word here o!

Come and see! I say, make unah come see, orhobo and lepa shandy for bum shorts! The lepa shandy be like toothpick nah dem wear cloth, while the orhobo be like bread nah dem soak for inside water, and come swell up! Abeg, I no fit shout! I look sotay, my friend tell me say, when dem slap me, I go comot eye! Tell me, how I go fit comot eye when them dey for my front? Especially when we go shopping? Beach nko? ogidigbidi! *papa ajasco voice* No iota of shyness o! Some orhobo no fit waka sef! Nah motorised cycle dem they use waka, yet, dem no go cover body! Abeg! my eyes were hurting, that I go buy dark glasses!

I learnt that summer time is the hunting season for partners, so that they would have someone during the long winter days. Yes, it can be lonely during winter period for some people.
There is a papa who lives few apartments away from me. Anytime his lover is around, nah odede like am o!, He won't come out throughout that week! He won't come out to check who is parking behind his vintage car, and see if they did not scratch it. Or  go to his garage to clean his power bike from dawn to dusk! Abeg! Forget that matter o jare!..ahahahaha

We went to fair park to celebrate July 4th, I just siddon for the grass, dey commit lookery! The gal that took the trophy was 3x  bigger than the others I have seen! She worn a bum short and carried her baby on her shoulder. That pickin never reach 2 months sef! The babe no send o! And she come kukuma take tatto decorate her body! I tire for them shaa! I am going to buy another darker eye glasses this summer, so that my eyes won't hurt ooo. Abeg, no be my fault o jare! My pipo say, 'who bring insect infected wood enter im house, nah im invite lizard come chop'. Abi no be so dem talk am?